My Goals

We were told at the beginning of this journey to actually write down our goals.  So here are mine.

The areas I would like to improve the most about my body and fitness levels are:

I have always love aerobics and cardio, but when it came to strength training, I suck. I have zero upper body strength and always have. Push-ups are my nemesis. Also, I want to be able to breathe when I am doing cardio. I want to run and play with my kids and not have to sit or put them off.

Identify the biggest problems or barriers in your path that may prevent you from reaching your fitness goals.

I am a procrastinator through and through. I tend to fill up my time with the urgent and not necessarily the important. I also have a hard time with putting myself first. With one car everybody else's activities take priority over mine: kids sports, meetings, and such. I am good at coming up with valid reasons why I can't work out.

In what ways are you responsible for these situations?

I try to not put myself in situations that I am good at. I fill up my time with extra curricualr activites that I am succesful at and make me feel like I have accomplished something. When I do any kind of working out, I feel like a big dufus. Emphasis on big. I realize now that this is pride rearing its ugly head. I pray that the Lord helps me with this pride issue.

Imagine that you have the ability to reach any fitness goals you could ever set yourself. What do you look like? What size clothes do you wear?

I wear a 10-12, but size is a realative thing. I would like to be a good healthy weight. I don't care much about what I look like, I just want to be healthy and not embarrass my kids. I want to feel comfortable in my clothes.

What are your most common excuses for not eating right or exercising?

Too tired, too busy, not enough time, too expensive to eat healthy, too far away, who will watch Lizzie, etc. It's not hard. Excuses are readily available.

What are some things that you can do to offset your justifications or reasons?

To steal a slogan from a popular shoe brand, "Just Do It!" Find a way. If it is truly important it will become a priority.

My sister has been truly my biggest cheerleader. She has offered to come and work out with me. She keeps calling me to see how each workout has gone. She makes sure that I am staying healthy. She has taken my daughter and she keeps telling me that I can do it.

Whatever the outcome of this Biggest Loser Challenge is, it doesn't matter. I am already a winner. I have made some great friends. I have felt the "gentle nudging" of my God dealing with my pride issues. I have learned that being humble means hauling my big behind up a hill in a screwed-up crab crawl while someone takes my picture or asking someone else for help when I find something challenging.

I want to be an example of a Godly woman caring for His temple while I am here on this earth for my children and my grand-children.

Here are the lyrics to the song below.  It is on my workout ipod.  Powerful stuff!

"Fly"

When last place is where I've been
It's hard to find the strength to start again

Sometimes it seems like I can never win

I'm held back by the weight of the crowd

Can't move to find my way out

You give me faith to get my feet of the ground

'Cause it's not easy

Trying to fly against the wind

When I keep on falling back to where I've been

Start over again

I'm overwhelmed when there's too much

Hiding the view to all that you've done

I step back to see how far we've come

And you're always with me (when I'm)

Trying to fly agains the wind

But I keep on falling back to where I've been

Trying to fly against the wind

Start over again

When last place is where I've been

You give me what I need to start again

Trying to fly against the wind

But I keep on falling back to where I've been

Trying to fly against the wind

And you keep on coming back for me again... over and over again

Having Fun with Food

One of the best things for me about trying to eat healthy is creating new recipes.  One of the reasons that I weight ###lbs is that I love food.  I love the whole experience of food: scanning the Internet for recipe ideas, planning my twist on the recipe, making it, smelling it, seeing how beautiful it looks, and lastly savoring the tasting experience.  I even have a little food dance that I do when I eat something really yummy.  I didn't know that I did this until my husband pointed it out to me. (Evidently this is one of my endearing qualities as far as Eric is concerned.)  This is part of the reason that losing weight is hard for me.  I love food. 

All of those thin people out there think of their food as fuel.  They eat something to nourish them whether they find it tastes fabulous or not.  I like to make food that is rich and yummy with things like butter and bacon fat and all things artery clogging.  I like to make food that is so amazing that I want to swim in it. Unfortunately, my life is hectic and so I also really like eating out.  Again at places that cook those amazing yummy foods with butter and bacon fat and that come with five carbohydrates on a plate.  Now that I want to run out and eat something a shouldn't, let me tell you the reason for this post.  I am experimenting and creating some healthy flavorful dishes, because if it doesn't taste good I'm and not wasting the calories eating them.

White Bean and Cherry Tomato Salad

1 can navy beans, drained and rinsed

1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved

1/2 small Vidalia onion or 1/4 large

1/2 tsp dried rosemary

1/2 lemon

2 tsp extra virgin olive oil

1 tbs balsamic vinegar

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1.  Chop onion and juice the 1/2 lemon onto the onions. (This is supposed to take the bitter edge off of the onion.) Add the rosemary, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and salt and pepper to create a dressing.

2.  Add the beans and the cherry tomatoes and mix well.

3.  Chill in the refrigerator for a few hours to let the flavors come together before eating. (I left mine overnight in the fridge,  and it was excellent the next day.)

I created this recipe for a Fourth of July cook-out.  It was a hit with the healthy eating crowd as well as others  I brought healthy dishes to pass so I could make sure that there was something there for me to be able to eat.  I was very prepared and proud of myself.  I brought a gallon pitcher so I could make sugar-free raspberry lemonade.  I made the White Bean and Cherry Tomato Salad and a Chicken Cabbage Salad, the recipe will be posted soon.

I am having so much fun coming up with new foods and flavor combinations.  When I made the decision to eat healthier I took my family along with me.  My son Joshua has come along kicking and screaming.  It's not quite that bad, but for the first time that I can remember, he ate salad the other day for dinner.  He also informed me that my new recipe endeavour: a chicken breast, tomato, onion, and mushroom concoction made in the slow cooker (not a great recipe name) was awesome.  I try!

Enjoy the video below.  I couldn't get it to go away so I guess it is meant to be here.

Still Going Strong

I have to say that the workouts are brutal, but more than my body is being shaped.    It's amazing to me how something as simple as saying I want to lose some weight and getting involved in Metro's Biggest Loser has had such an impact on my entire life.

I have never been much for being a "team player".  It's not that I don't get along with people.  I just prefer to work alone.  I like to be in charge, the captain of the ship, the master of my own destiny so to speak and so on and on.  I like to quietly do my thing in the background.  I don't like attention drawn to me.  And, I especially don't feel comfortable asking for help. Then viola, I meet my deadline or pull off my event whatever it may be.  I don't want criticism and I don't want praise.  I kinda thought of myself as humble, but guess what. . . It's really pride.  Who Knew?  Not me.

My team members, "Go Blue!", have been phenomenal.  I can't thank them enough for their care and support.  They have been encouraging and fabulous.  When I'm down on the ground after some sort of eastern mysticism pretzel twist and having a hard time hauling my fat you know what up off of the ground, it's not unusual to have a hand extended to help me up.  My first reaction is, "No I got this," or "I'm fine."  PRIDE You know what?  I've been taking the hand.  It's taken awhile for me to understand that I am hiding behind a firewall.  The Lord has been breaking down this wall one sprint at a time.

Below is a video of a song that I have on my ipod.  Its reality for my life has hit me hard these past couple of weeks.  I can't do it: my workouts, my life, my anything, by myself.  I need Jesus and I need other people as well.

I'm celebrating small victories today. 

Joshua's travel team had a tournament in Brighton this weekend. Normally I would have just hopped into the car and gone off to the tournament and gotten fast food.  This weekend I took the time to slice cucumbers, pack sandwiches for the kids, put carrots and nuts and grape tomatoes into containers, sliced lemons and filled a jug with ice water to drink, and put in some strawberries for something sweet.  No fast food for the Kuhns this weekend.  Then there was a cook-out afterwards.  I brought my own whole wheat buns and cut up lettuce, tomatoes, and onions to top my one burger.  I did not have any chips, cookies, or fattening salads.  It wasn't that difficult.

I have not had any Coke for a week.  This is no small victory.  I drank so much Coke that they are going to miss me.  A day in the life of Nan included at least three 32 ounce Coca-Colas a day.  Yikes!!!  That's $3.00 a day on sugar pop with empty calories.  That's $21.00 a week and ultimately $1092.00 a year spent on supporting my Coke habit, not to mention the pounds that have accumulated on my body through those calories.

I've been preparing and cooking my own foods this last week.  My family is also eating healthier this week, much to Joshua's dismay.  He is not as on board as the rest of us.  Lizzie is excited at the prospect of eating healthy.  Eric has been very supportive of my efforts as well.  This Biggest Loser Competition has been just the kick in the butt that I have needed to jump start my life again.

Thank You Jesus!

Day 4

I did it!!!  Personal victory for me.  I conquered the Woodhaven hill.  I have to say that this week has been one of the toughest things that I have experienced in my whole life.  I know that it sounds a bit dramatic, but it's true.

This experience is going so much deeper for me than just the exercise.  I am trying to break patterns and yes bondages that I have held for a very long time.  I apparently don't ever do things that I am not good at.  I used to joke that I never participate in an arena where I can't win.

I very quickly realized that this endeavour was not going to be easy for me.  I had to work harder at this than I have worked at something in a long time.  There are just things that I can't do, not yet anyway.  It has made me angry.  I mean really angry.  How did I get to this point?  Where did I go off the path?  When did I become a passive observer in my own life?  And sadly, how is this affecting the rest of my family?  God has surely been dealing with me this week and I don't like it.  In fact I HATE IT!

Hebrews 6:10-12

10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. 11 We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. 12 We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

I have unfortunately become lazy.  Procrastination has become my constant companion.  Now the road back is uphill and it lives in Woodhaven.

Pressed Down Shaken Together

Pressed own shaken together running out all over,

stomp on the grapes,

tread out the new wine,

Give thanks to the Lord forever.

If your bless him, then he'll bless you,

and fill you up with a wine that's new.

So

Stomp on the grapes tread out the new wine

Give thanks to the Lord forever.

As I was getting my butt kicked real good today, this little diddy came to my mind.  When I was a teen this was a song that our youth leader sang with us.  At one point he had to lead worship out at camp and made my friend and me come up and lead the motions.  Way outside my comfort zone I might add. This song kept running through my mind as I was making my attempt at running today.   I am outside my comport zone, not just flirting with the edge but way out there like Pluto. When I came home I looked up the reference in the bible.  I really like how it applies to all of us going through this training together.

It made me think.  I am certainly feeling pressed down and shaken.

Luke 6:38-40

Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure -pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return." 39 And He also spoke a parable to them: "A blind man cannot guide a blind man, can he? Will they not both fall into a pit ? 40 "A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher.

I really like the message that God is teaching here.  It is about generosity and getting a good measure, more than what your paid for and more than your deserve.  Essentially if you buy a bag of potato chips (Not that I would do that. LOL), you pay for a bunch of air.  This passages has to do with not only getting what you "pay for" so to speak, but they have pressed it down, crushed it together to be able to get as much in as possible and then some. 

These trainers are pressing us down.  They are giving to us, we are giving to each other, and we are all doing it for the glory of Him who has made us in His image.  We are becoming fully trained so that we may become like the teacher.  I don't want to be like the blind falling into a pit.

Day 1

I know it is going to sound stupid, but I just did one of the scariest things I have ever done.  I have joined with my  brothers and sisters in Christ and embarked upon a journey called, "Metro's Biggest Loser".  For any of you who have ever watched the show you kind of have an idea of how it is going to go.  I must admit that I myself have never watched an entire season, but I know the premise.

Metro South Church, my church, has taken this formula, added a God  perspective, blended it all together, and came up with "Metro's Biggest Loser".  Don't let the church thing fool you.  These people are butt kicking, whip you into shape, take no excuses, trainers. 

We gathered, all shapes, all sizes, all ages, and all fitness abilities in front of Anytime Fitness in Flat Rock.  Chatting and laughing in anticipation of what was about to happen.  Fear of the unknown mixed with excited nervousness, and a healthy dose of determination.  A multitude of reasons brought us to this one place for this one purpose, a life changing encounter with God at the center of it all.

As I experienced each of the activities I made a mental check on the list.  Looming down at the bottom of my list was running the mile at Trenton High School.  Dread and fear washed over me like waves of the ocean in hurricane season.  It has always been so easy to quit in the past.  I could find an acceptable reason why I couldn't, but now no reason is acceptable.  I had run smack dab into my fears.  "I know I am going to be last."  (Pride)  "So what, I won't quit." (Determination)  "What if I can't do it?" (Fear)  "I can do it!" (Perseverance)  "Will people laugh at me?" (Ego)  We cheered for each other. (Camaraderie)

I am so excited to be a part of something that is such a "God thing" that it is going to blow everyone away.  I don't think we can even begin to imagine the lives that are going to be changed.  I know that no matter where I end up in this journey, I know that right here, right now, I am ALL IN!