New Year's Resolutions

What is it with New Year's Resolutions?  Why do I hate them so?  My husband and I went out to dinner on New Year's Eve and he asked me what my resolutions are  for this year. I said something lame trying not to really give it too much thought, and then I quickly asked him his.

Yesterday I wanted to post a blog about my New Year's Resolutions or maybe my Goals for the New Year.  They would all be about how I was going to do this and this and that better this year, including keeping up with this blog.  It would be symbolic, 1-1-11, posting on the first day of the new year.  I just couldn't seem to do it.  I've already missed an opportunity to make a change to my ways and it is January 2nd.  I might as well forget it, right?  Oh well another resolution gone by the wayside.


Then, I was watching the news this morning and they we already polling their viewing audience about who has broken their New Year's Resolutions and why.  For crying out loud, it's only January 2nd.   Don't they have anything better to discuss on the news than people's shortcomings in the new year.  One of the viewers said that they had made a resolution to stop swearing so much, but then they stubbed their toe and . . . Oh well.  This got me to thinking.  I tend to put off making New Year's Resolutions and I began to wonder why.  Is it because they are dumb, or nobody really takes them seriously, or is it because I'm afraid to make a commitment to stick to anything in my life; even if it is just a silly tradition that doesn't really mean much? Does every resolution come with a get out of jail free card? 
 
Of course I had to consult the expert.  I went to Webster.com (Who uses a real dictionary anymore?) to see what a resolution really is.  Wow, there sure are a lot of definitions for resolution most of which have nothing to do with trying to eat less, exercise more, and solve global warming (if there is such a thing).  Resolution: (n) something that is resolved, firmness of resolve.  Great, let's look up resolve.  Resolve:  (v) to reach a firm decision about, marked by firm determination, and fixity of purpose.  Now we are talking.  I also consulted the synonyms (words that mean the same. "s" for same "s" for synonym.  Clever right?) and antonyms (words that are opposite.  No clever way to remember this one.)  Synonyms:  do-or-die, firm, intent, purposeful, set, single-minded, granite, and my personal favorite stick-to-itiveness.  Antonyms:  faltering, hesitant, indecisive, undetermined, vacillating, wavering.

Of course being the over achiever that I can sometimes be, (I said sometimes) I had to look up the word firm as well.  Firm:  (adj) not weak or uncertain, not easily moved or disturbed, well-founded, steadfast.  Okay, I also looked up well-founded.  I think I have an addiction to Webster.com.  Well-founded:  (adj) based on excellent reasoning, information, judgement or grounds.

So now I know more about resolutions than the average Joe.  Why don't I ever want to make one?  I think because deep down I have always known what a resolution is.  Did you see those strong words: firm, steadfast, set, single-minded?  One year I said to Eric we should make goals for the new year.  You don't "break" a goal.  I think that's it.  If you don't reach a goal, you can just modify it.  It is all very touchy feely.  There is no failure, just modification.  I knew it then and feel like if I "break" a resolution, I have failed.  For me this is the worst four letter "f" word in the English language. 

I did a lot of keyword searches for steadfast, firm and the like in the bible, but I will elaborate on those another day.  I have been side-tracked while authoring this post.  I asked a serious question of why and got an answer right here while typing at the keyboard that I would like to further explore.  Sometimes we (I) become so focused upon all of the ways that we can fail at something, we never do anything.  I think that has been me many times in my life.  I spend so much time researching, safeguarding, question asking, contingency planning, and fearing the worst, that I never just do it.  The opportunity passes or the urge is suppressed.  I am 43 years old and I am never going to be a rock star. (Why am I crying at my computer? Weird huh?)

I found this passage (God lovingly led me to it.) while looking through scripture today:

Romans 4:18-21
18 When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, "You're going to have a big family, Abraham!" 19 Abraham didn't focus on his own impotence and say, "It's hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child." Nor did he survey Sarah's decades of infertility and give up. 20 He didn't tiptoe around God's promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, 21 sure that God would make good on what he had said. (The Message)

Here is my RESOLUTION: I will stop being fearful of failure and start doing something.

Lord help me to plunge into your promise so that I can come up strong, ready for God